Stickball Tricksters

Ever read about the 1890s Baltimore Orioles? What a bunch of dirty players! I can't even fathom some of these devious ways they tried to stack the odds in their favor. Hidden replacement balls in the outfield? Cutting across the diamond to skip second? Now that takes some real audacity. It's the sort of thing you'd only see in a comedy movie nowadays.

In a way, I almost lament the stiffer rules that have been enforced in the century-plus since that time. While the rules make for overall fairness, they also squelch some personality and humor from the scene. Yes, those guys were dirty players but the public love little rascals, don't they? I'm not saying that I endorse cheating, but sports have come down so hard with the rules that players seem restricted against doing anything now. As a result, sports can sometimes seem so bland... It's a difficult concept to grasp, but the truth is that sports need villains, too -- guys who cheat the system and flaunt that fact.

While the idea of relaxing rules that are tantamount to wins and losses may be too controversial, I'm at least of the opinion that idiosyncracies, customizations, nicknames, gestures and any sort of individual flair are really better for sports in the long run. In order to make up for the creative dystopia of American sports, teams have resorted to things like comical mascots -- which are pretty pathetic and all but phased out in today's sports world -- and changing up uniforms every few years with "modern" twists. But if you ask me they're just making things worse.

I realize that too much personal expression can become unclassy, grungy, or objectional (see professional wrestling for an ugly example), but I still say that we ought to give players some leeway. I'm sure I wasn't the only one who thought that last season's Red Sox team was pretty cool with their dingy tar-covered helmets. Express yourself. Just...not like N.W.A.