Walk This Way

Do pedestrians have any rights left? Whatever happened to allowing pedestrians to cross first? It's gotten to the point where, when I'm driving, pedestrians will stop, take a step back, and wave me past. I guess it's because they're accustomed to impatient assholes who can't, for the life of them, realize that someone walking on their own two feet needs a little time to cross the road.

The worst offenders are the drivers who won't come to a complete stop for a pedestrian. Instead, they'll brake really hard when they realize that there is, in fact, someone who dared to cross their path, then they'll proceed to inch forward as though to send the message: "You're wasting my precious time, slowpoke!" Come on, give up that extra second and allow your neighborhood pedestrians some peace of mind by giving them some space. People tend to get a little nervous when they've got a powerful ton-heavy death machine creeping up on them. The way that drivers are so well encased in metal shells, pedestrians are practically naked out there!

Everytime I go out on foot around the neighborhood for some exercise I feel like my life is in jeopardy. I want to be able to cross the road without worrying whether somebody's going to kill me because he decided to take a right turn without stopping at all or because he thinks a stop sign only means "slow down." Please, remember that there are people walking those same streets. It's not just automobiles on the roads. There are flesh and blood out there, too. For your convenience, they only cross at stoplights or clearly marked walkways. So slow down when you reach those areas and keep an eye out. Common courtesy, people. Show me some when I'm out walking. Thanks.

While we're on the topic of walking, let's talk about the way that Jesus walks. Yeah, that's right, I'm talking about the song "Jesus Walks" by Kanye West. Does Kanye really know how Jesus walks? I don't think so. While I respect Kanye as a producer, I've always had my misgivings about him as a Christian. (Being on the Roc-a-Fella roster is red flag #1.) Just a simple listen to his album shows a consistent contradiction between Christian values and worldy values. While some might chalk that up to artistic exploration of inner conflict, you can't deny that some of his songs are just too worldy to be anything but a ringing endorsement of such values. (That's red flag #2.)

I once heard a story about a church that invited Kanye to come and perform as the headliner in a gospel event. He basically said he'd do it but only at the right price. He ended up charging them an exorbitantly high $30,000 -- which is a lot of money for a church, even a large one -- the final figure after he upped the fee several times. After the church reluctantly agreed to pay him his money (they'd already heavily promoted Kanye's performance across the city and couldn't just disappoint people at the last second) he arrived unfashionably late, performed two songs, and quickly left without greeting anyone or signing autographs, let alone giving a quick gospel message to the crowd. Put plainly: that sucks.

I had no way to confirm the story though, so I treated it as hearsay, regardless of my sources and the detailed account. After all, there will always be people who spread unfounded rumors or twisted truths simply to bring others down. Why they do it, I don't know, but I gave Kanye the benefit of the doubt. No one who so publicly (and bravely) claimed to be a Christian would mistreat the church of God like that, right? (Validity notwithstanding, that incident was red flag #3.)

Now, in a widely reported story you might've heard about, Kanye's gone and thrown a temper tantrum at the American Music Awards after Gretchen Wilson won the Best New Artist award, an award he fully expected to receive. Why he couldn't just grin and bear it, I don't know. Be graceful in defeat, homie. Here's what he said:

"I felt like I was definitely robbed and I refused to give any politically correct bullshit ass [comment]. I make the music from my heart ... and to be able to get "Jesus Walks" on the radio and everything that's happening, I was the best new artist this year, so get that other bullshit out of here. ... I don't know if I'll be back next year."

There ain't no disputing what Kanye said 'cause it's all captured on camera. I saw the footage myself and it was shocking to see the way he carried himself. Crybaby. I see now that he's giving himself credit for getting a song about Jesus on the radio. Maybe he forgot to give credit to the Man upstairs. What an uncontrolled ego. Now his reason for putting that song out seems less like a sincere inspiration than a calculated effort to gain some fame by using Jesus' name. (Red flag #4? Nope. This was the red alarm.) Kanye West, you've lost my respect. Don't make songs about walking with Jesus unless you're going to do it yourself. Being a foul-mouthed sore loser doesn't represent the spirit of Christ to me. Check yo'self.